Men's Sexual Cravings

Initiate!

One of the most common complaints in couples therapy is that male partners in hetero relationships feel like they always have to initiate sex with their female partners. “Men like to be seduced, they like to feel desired and attractive. Initiating sex sends the message to your man that you want him, which gives him a major confidence boost.”(Shamyra, Cosmopolitan Magazine UK). If you are unsure how to begin or feel awkward the best thing you can do is just communicate. 

Express Yourself!

“If you’re a screamer, scream. Don’t hold back your moans, groans, screams, and growls of pleasure,”(Shamyra, Cosmopolitan Magazine UK). It is a major turn-on for your partner and helps when you need to spice things up. 

Talking during sex not only stimulates our ears but resonates with the rest of our body, as Mintz, Ph.D. says “..heavy breathing, groaning, and moaning are all sounds that we make when we’re feeling free, and studies have shown that it’s erotic for all parties involved to hear.” It’s also a great way to really express what you want, which is a huge turn-on for men when they know they’re doing exactly what you need to have an orgasm.

“If you’re not usually one to speak up, Mintz suggests trying it solo first. “Next time you’re masturbating, make some noise,” she says. “You might find something is really fun, and then you can transfer that to partner sex.” Otherwise, saying anything that’s praising, instructive, and even a little dirty tends to go over well with men. Tell him exactly how you want to be touched (and where, and using what) and you’ll send his pleasure meter — and yours —through the roof.”

"Explore your sexual unknowns"

Actively Participate

“Men like to have sex with women who actively participate.” -(Shamyra, Cosmopolitan Magazine UK). Actively participating means meeting his thrusts with your own thrusts, grinding your hips, and flexing your PC (pubococcygeal) muscles all of which make your sexual experience more in tune with his. These are all things you can do from whatever position you’re in. You can also use your hands to squeeze your guy’s arms and pull his body closer to yours, or use your lips to explore more of his body—all these moves will let him know you’re loving the action.

Communicate

“I love it when you..”, “Oh that feels good…”. Communication is essential not just in a relationship but in the bedroom. It is how you tell your partner what you like and don’t like. Communication goes back to being expressive if you moan with pleasure at the things you like they will know what pleases you. 

Mix it up!

Spice things up, if missionary in the bedroom is the norm, then change it up for the sanctity of your own sexual health. The last thing anyone wants is to turn the beautiful act of sex into a monotonous task like brushing your teeth. If the idea occurs to you that it might be hot to have him spin you around and fuck you from behind against your kitchen counter, bathroom sink, dining room table…WELL…THEN…DO THAT!.

Take control

Grab your heels, your lube, vibrator, and start without him, then call him in.. and let him in on the fantasy. Men are visual, they love to watch, and he’ll be learning exactly what it is you need to get off. Then let him also Take Control –  “Men want their partners to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally,” says Joe Kort, Ph.D., a psychotherapist, and sexologist in Royal Oak, Michigan. “It’s not [always] about dominating a woman, but rather ravishing her.” On occasion, don’t be afraid to let him do just that. (So long as it’s something you’re comfortable with, of course.)

Men are Visual

For men, what they see is almost as good as what they get, so make sure to give him an eyeful. “One time during sex, my girlfriend led me over to a mirror so we could see ourselves in action,” Tyler, 21. “I found it really sexy, but what made it hotter was how into it she was.” Do what makes you feel sexy because how you feel accentuates the experience between you and your partner. 

These tips will help you move your relationship forward sexually if you want to light the flames, have more orgasm’s or you want to be closer to your partner. If you don’t know where to start, the best thing to do is open up dialog between you and your partner.

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